Intimidation,Emotional Abuse,Using Isolation,Minimization,Denial,Blame,Using Children,Male Privilege,Economic Abuse,Coercion and Threats if you have ever used any of these to control a partner you are abusive. These are all part of the Power and Control Wheel used in the Duluth Model Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. Has someone used any of these to control you? If so you are a victim of domestic abuse.
Future posts will go into detail on examples of each of these components because it is so important to understand every part of this wheel. Every incident of abuse includes a part of this wheel and more often multiple parts of the wheel.
Where does this behavior come from? It is learned in life in many different ways. It may be occurring in the home, watched on television, or observed in some other means. It is taken in and processed as the way it should be in a relationship. Later in life it may be used, it may work to control and then the cycle will repeat.
Yes, domestic violence is a learned behavior. What have you learned? What are you teaching your children? We are biggest influence on our kids. If you are abusing you are showing your sons it is okay to control this way. If you are being abused you are teaching your daughters it is okay to be abused.
The good part is that domestice violence can also be unlearned. How can this happen? Set the example, you are the model of what your children will become. Are you showing them what that deserve?